Little boy: ¡°uncle, what toys did you play with when you were my age?¡±

Uncle: ¡°I had a slinky¡±

Little boy: ¡°uncle, were you a retard?¡±

i can’t remember where i ripped that off from … anyways … i feel old … my 8 year old cousin came over a few days ago for chinese new years and she was telling me how most of the girls in her class either had their belly buttons or tongues pierced … wtf?? 8 year olds with pierced tongues?? … when i was 8 years old, i had to beg my mom to get my ears pierced and the only thing i had in my belly button was lint … times are changing … music has evolved so much too … i wonder what it was like growing up back in the old days … can you imagine if you turned on hot 97 and they were playing shet like elvis presley or the temptations on the hitlist countdown? … music’s gone from love me tender, love me true => when i think of you i wanna touch myself … if it keeps evolving in that direction, what will my grandchildren be listening to when they turn their radios on? straight up porno noises? moaning? … am i being old fashioned? ignorant? will i be the retarded uncle like in the dialogue above? … what would you do if your 8 year old daughter wanted to pierce her tongue?

who luvs my new valentine profile pic lol =9

talking about having, naming, or anything to do with kids with boyfriends seems so taboo in this anti-commitment time we’re living in … we’ve all thought about it and if anybody you know’s ever denied thinking about it, they’re lah-ying … why are asian chicks always planning to give their kids elaborate white names like alexandria and elizabeth … or plain old ordinary names with extraordinary [in other words, annoying] spellings … i wanna name my daughter christina but i’m going to spell it k-r-y-s-t-e-e-n-a … twerpy spellings will not make your offspring any more special …. special means retarded … not to mention the trend in giving boys scottish names lately … it could just be me, but an asian kid with a name like mackenzie, ethan or liam just makes him look as stupid as his gae-rhan parents … why let the frustrations of having to endure life with a cookie cutter asian name like jenny lee or chris kim, out on the unfortunate next generation? … might as well name them my parents need therapy … u know what else pisses me off, when white ppl name their kids after a day of the week, like tuesday or wednesday … or after a country, like india or china … justified only with because it sounds nice … with white logic, i could one day be naming my kids holiday or south africa … that ain’t right!!

i have been proposed to twice in my life lol … both times being the desperate guy friend’s pact type of chung-hon … you smell nice and you can cook, so i wont starve…if both of us are still single at the age of 35, you wanna get married? … in other words, i am the last resort in the lives of 2 people … i am plan Z =( …

this coming fall, my sister’s marrying this korean banana from long island that she met while we were living in korea last year … isn’t it every korean banana chick’s dream to marry a dashing korean banana guy? … my other sister has been dating this banana chonger guy for some time now … and from what ive seen, dating a banana chonger guy isn’t that much different than dating a banana korean guy except she has suddenly expressed an interest in buddhism and he buys her pirated dvds like mulan, flying daggers, and crouching tiger … ching chong chong … its all true -_-;;

a few years ago, my bananaest of banana cousins married a boater she met while teaching english in korea … he showed up to thanksgiving dinner this year with a bottle of iced tea and a turnip because my cousin asked him to buy cranberry juice and some beets on his way home from work … how does a marriage with communication problems like that work anyway? … in my opinion, interfob marriages get a big fat thumbs down

what has it been? …14 months of being single now? … my mom’s getting worried that i’m always just staying home and obsessing over my dog too much … its true, my main concerns these days are: did he eat? did he shit? is he regular? … maybe it really is time to find a bf lol but any relationships are on hold until after the big move to nyc =P~

merry christmas and best wishes in 2005 to my xanga friends =)

the second thing my dad’s friend’s friend said to me today after ‘hello’ was, ‘i have a son, he graduated top of his class at yonsei … 31 … he doesn’t smoke, he drinks a little … i have pictures on the internet’… is this what my love life has come to? parental personals? … i got a flash into my doomed fate as mrs.over-the-hill alcoholic overachiever-shudder … i could be paranoid but i think my poor little parents [conspiring together with their ajushi and ajuma friends] are trying to hook me up with a husband -_-;;; ya ever hear of how friends and family join forces and gang up on a drug addict, to try and get the person the ‘help’ that he/she needs … a ‘drug intervention’? … this is the same sh*t and the plague of korean agashis all around the world … ‘save the poor unmarried korean girl over 20 intervention’ … but seriously, i am accidentally running into a suspicious number of middle aged parents desperately seeking mionuris … there’s something fishy going on >=I

my parents are pretty old-fashioned and this is their [combined] list of requirements to date any of their daughters: 1. be korean … ya know how inter-racial/national marriage is like some kind of urban legend amongst korean ajumas … if you marry someone that isn’t korean, you will have mentally retarded children-if you marry someone that isn’t korean, blahblahblah … my parents take it one step further and shun any boyfriend prospects with parents originating from the cheolla province of korea lol … neways-

this blog is dedicated to my sister julia who has recently gotten engaged and is the one that got everybody started asking me so, when are u gonna get married?? congratulations and thanks for nothing -_-

my puppy is slowly, but surely, morphing into a freaking dog!!! nooooo … shock … denial … dismay

i stayed inside the bronzer bed for the maximum allowable time limit today … i think the person using the bed before me stayed in for just as long as i did cause it felt like a frying pan near the end … i think i came out of the room with smoke coming out of the top of my head … i had to use the ladies room afterwards and went to the bathroom at the tanning salon … as soon as i sat down, my hair stood on end and i almost keeled over from the shock of the cold toilet seat >_< … this is what korean people would call chuhae hehe … i tan but i have to admit that i despise tanners in general lol … the way they’re always trying to convert u to whatever kinda bed or tanning lotion they’re using is annoying … half the time they’re so dark ya think they burnt the part of their brain that distinguishes color … not to mention the lollipops and ding dongs they’ve got working at these places that try and make writing and erasing appointments look like legal secretarial work

my sister’s bf is coming to visit from ny … whattiya do with a visitor from a place like ny in a hurting city like van?!

in response to www.xanga.com/logicdick’s chinese views against korean people …

i hate how china and chinese sound … and ever since i’ve been poisoned with the sound of george’s mother’s [seinfeld] voice … y’know that episode where she thinks she’s been getting advice from a choaineez woman but the woman is actually jewish, i can’t stop pronouncing it like her … choaineeez choainaah … i’ve never really talked about my predjudices against chinese ppl just because my friends are mainly chinese and i don’t want to offend any of them … but then i thought about it and the majority of vancouver’s asian population is chinese so it gives me a right to pick on them if i want to … like how any other race can pick on white ppl and it’s a-ok … so what’s wrong with chinese people … chinese people are always talking about how all asians are the descendants of the chinese and they say this with this look on their face like they just gave birth to us 30 seconds ago … they always have to mention the ”brilliant” discoveries of chinese medicine with the same “i just invented it” look when they probably can’t even read or write chinese and couldn’t be able to find beijing on a map of beijing … chinese guys always gotta mention if they “hung out with a japanese chick” as if she was horny and he got laid numerous times … asian guys usually pay for their dates and although chinese guys usually take care of the check, they always want chicks to offer to pay … “chicks should at least offer to pay, or else she is taking me for granted” … lol get real … chinese ppl are all closet superstitious, with their little red and gold shrines and shiny red and gold door signs in their homes with the ghost deterring crooked pathways … ya’ll know chinese people love to gamble-”i just do if for fun, i don’t get addicted like everybody else even though i go to the casino every damned day” …yea surrre … chinese guys dont like chicks with makeup or seem to mind chicks with chests smaller than an A-cup, so i figure they must be half gay … facial hair on a chinese guy is about as lustrous and abundant as the hair on homer’s head … they’re all atheist but go to temples on new years and celebrate christmas too-in other words, confused … don’t even make me go into the whole modified import car thing haha … and who invented hot and sour soup-that stuff tastes like sh!t

i wish www.xanga.com/stillAdick would please come back

you know what would be funny … seeing what would happen if we made a person with severe hayfever snort a line of pollen!?

11 pm on a saturday night … everybody’s out partying and i’m at home waiting for my dough to rise lol … thought i’d update my xanga while i wait … wanted to say how happy i am to be back in van with my parents and sisters … and in other news, today is jae pet peeve day

i find it annoying when non-koreans pronounce my email kissmebabo@hotmail.com as ‘kiss me babe-o?’ and then look at me like a boy hungry teenybopper

i could never understand those people who could manage to stay friends with their ex-s … how? … and why? what for? … and why is it that these people always have to tell you that they ‘stay friends’, like it makes them better people? … as far as i’m concerned, my exbfs fall into one of two categories: the ‘what the hell was i thinking’ category or the ‘why won’t he just die‘ category

other people i hate: people who say stuff like ‘i live my life without regret’  … you’re lying … and ’everything happens for a reason’ … you’re stupid

i dont like hangovers either … those agonizing ‘i wish i was dead’ hangovers are killer =P~

pet peeve no.5: chicks who know too much about cars and sports

pet peeve no.6: guys who know too much about periods and makeup

jerry seinfeld is performing at caesar’s palace every night i’ll be in vegas ahhhh … nebody wanna buy me tickets? hehe … he never comes up to canada and who could blame him … my last pet peeve for today would have to be canada … no, canadians … cause they’re all boring, bland and irritating …and they’ve all got hockey pucks for brains

i hit a dog with my car today AGHHHH i feel so gross … i might as well be wearing one of those muskrat hats, holding a leg trap, and making a scary face … cause that’s what i feel like … of course, i did what any other korean would do in the same situation: look in the rear view mirror for any witnesses and book it home =P~